i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
