Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
