8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
