i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize