fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
