she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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