The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
