The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Come on in and take your pants off
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