i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
