Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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