Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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