not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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