So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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