You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize