there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
