The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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