is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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