He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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