D3 body, D1 cock
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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