can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
