Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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