bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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