we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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