he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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