We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize