she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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