So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
