Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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