I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
she smelled like a LAN party
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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