so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
