Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
They have beer where we have blood.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
