Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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