Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
