We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
