I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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