He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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