Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
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