Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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