Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
