Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
