we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
