I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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