I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
