Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Randomize
