Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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