Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
