I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Randomize
