I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
