is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
