is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
