I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
