so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Michael Bay diarrhea
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
