thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
How does it feel to date your dad?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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