yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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