im gay
i know
yea but for you.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
