I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
