He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
