Three words: puerto rican gang bang
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
