Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
