I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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