So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
How external is "for external use only"?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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