Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
