My cat gives me a boner
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
