She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
