the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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